Doctor: “Any changes to your close vision?” Me: “Do you mean, do I have to bring things closer to see?” Doctor: (laughs) “Nah, I mean do you have to hold it far away…like can you still see the...
The next person to assume a) I don’t speak English or b) I’m automatically related to/associated with any other Asians within a 50 foot radius gets a roundhouse to the face…Mortal Kombat style.
Out & About
Dear adorable woman who crossed the street in front of my car, looked up at the sky, stuck her tongue out to catch a snowflake and smiled and laughed the rest of the way: Marry me?
One of my toughest choices each morning is whether to get my coffee from a) the surly hipster barista who hate-makes my drink but it’s really delicious or b) the adorable Starbucks barista who always smiles and remembers my...
You’re a Steelers fan. You’re a Patriots fan. Your/You’re There/Their/They’re You’re white and vehemently insist that Than Brothers has the best pho in Seattle.
Of my mortifying revelations in 2016, this might be the winner.