You ever have a date that felt like a baseball game where the starting pitcher was doing okay, not perfect, but okay and gave up a few runs but was hanging in there and it’s the bottom of the 7th inning and you know...
Oh look, my love life summed up in three cookies. (They were delicious though. Thanks Hello Robin.)
Realize you’re running low on trash bags. Buy big box of 200 at Costco. Put box in back of car. When unloading car, tell yourself you’ll bring in the box of trash bags later. Do other things for a week. Repeat steps 1...
Doctor: “Any changes to your close vision?” Me: “Do you mean, do I have to bring things closer to see?” Doctor: (laughs) “Nah, I mean do you have to hold it far away…like can you still see the...
The next person to assume a) I don’t speak English or b) I’m automatically related to/associated with any other Asians within a 50 foot radius gets a roundhouse to the face…Mortal Kombat style.
Out & About
Dear adorable woman who crossed the street in front of my car, looked up at the sky, stuck her tongue out to catch a snowflake and smiled and laughed the rest of the way: Marry me?
One of my toughest choices each morning is whether to get my coffee from a) the surly hipster barista who hate-makes my drink but it’s really delicious or b) the adorable Starbucks barista who always smiles and remembers my...
You’re a Steelers fan. You’re a Patriots fan. Your/You’re There/Their/They’re You’re white and vehemently insist that Than Brothers has the best pho in Seattle.
Of my mortifying revelations in 2016, this might be the winner.