Out & About: Amazing Ankles on the Ferry
I ended up walking behind you as we stepped off the ferry. You with your pink knit cap and hair tucked underneath and cute jeans…but what really caught my eye? Your amazing calves. These weren’t just “Cardio 3x...
How to Take All My Money
Be an adorable barista who remembers my name. HELLO KITTY HELLO KITTY HELLO KITTY Be a fundraising event or non-profit with a cute queer organizer. Be a POC-owned business in a gentrifying neighborhood. Call me “Miss...
Things I Do At Asian Restaurants That Make My Parents Cringe and Question How I’m Related
Ask for no bean sprouts, eat everything but the bean sprouts and/or pick out every bean sprout and anything resembling a bean sprout. “Mild please.” “No spice.” “Zero stars.” Add the smallest...
Things You Can Buy For the Same Price As a Sandwich and Latte at Cone & Steiner
A small used car. Dinner for two at Canlis. One year of funding for the National Endowment for the Arts. A 103-square-foot three bedroom condo in South Lake Union. Betsy DeVos’ conscience. Sean Spicer’s credibility....
My Love Life Summed Up in Three Cookies
Oh look, my love life summed up in three cookies. (They were delicious though. Thanks Hello Robin.)
When You Have an Asian Eye Doctor
Doctor: “Any changes to your close vision?” Me: “Do you mean, do I have to bring things closer to see?” Doctor: (laughs) “Nah, I mean do you have to hold it far away…like can you still see the...
The Next Person to Assume I Don’t Speak English…
The next person to assume a) I don’t speak English or b) I’m automatically related to/associated with any other Asians within a 50 foot radius gets a roundhouse to the face…Mortal Kombat style.
Out & About: Snowflake Catcher Crossing the Street
Dear adorable woman who crossed the street in front of my car, looked up at the sky, stuck her tongue out to catch a snowflake and smiled and laughed the rest of the way: Marry me?
My Petty List of Petty Dating Dealbreakers
You’re a Steelers fan. You’re a Patriots fan. Your/You’re There/Their/They’re You’re white and vehemently insist that Than Brothers has the best pho in Seattle.
Every Seattle Lesbian Couple’s Cart at Costco
Batteries. Mango salsa. Case of Corona. Two bottles of red wine. One bottle of white wine. Andouille sausage if they eat meat. Atlantic Salmon filet if they eat fish. Frozen spinach spanakopita regardless. Tub of hummus. 6-pack...